How nearly impossible this idea is to understand!
Things bad or very bad at the time (e.g. the end of my marriage)* become in retrospect to be seen as good, as if God willed them -- hmm!
*and perhaps even more the very difficult circumstances of my childhood which formed my character.
(The Portuguese say 'God writes straight with crooked lines.' Being so happy now means that having been so unhappy in the past, even not far off suicide in my twenties, matters less and less and less -- but not entirely not at all.)
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